You love your partner and are willing to do anything for them. Yet, you can’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable at times.
Yes, they are the light of your life, but often, you feel like something is out of place. Or rather, something is wrong.
You want gather the courage and ask them if they feel the same, but you fear asking might hurt them. After all, they’re the most perfect person in the world, right?
Yet, despite their perfection, you still feel like they may not be the perfect match for you. If so, then you might just be in a relationship with a manipulator.
Hear Us Out…
Don’t feel offended.
While you might be a perfectly intelligent individual, the truth is that you can never be too sure that you weren’t manipulated. Master manipulators use all kinds of tricks to make people do what they want. In the end, the person doesn’t even realize when their thoughts, actions and feelings are being twisted for someone else’s wishes. And that can be a worrisome situation to be in.
To further explain this, we asked the author of Same Cake Different Icing Marcus Houskin to discuss the psychological principles behind emotional manipulation, and how people use these principles to get what they want.
Let’s say your partner asked you to do something and you forgot. They’re asking you again and suddenly, you want to say yes because their tone denotes that something bad will happen if you don’t. You say okay, not because you want to but because you’re afraid. This is a classic example of bullying that is a common form of manipulation.
-Home Court Advantage
They take you wherever they want to go, to their favorite spots, and to their home because they want to be in control of the situation and their surroundings. While some might relent if you force them enough, other manipulators aren’t that easy to control. So if you push hard enough, that can lead to psychological manipulation.
-Saying “If You Loved Me…”
They ask you to prove again and again that you love them, by only giving them what they want. They do so by twisting your emotions and shaming you so you go according to their plans. And that’s the worst kind of manipulation. If someone says this, you need to shut them down. Do not let them stake their love for any request, no matter how innocent it sounds.
These people take threats and statements to the next level. Emotional blackmail is not at all healthy, and only leads to your partner trying to control you. Rather than dealing with this emotional manipulation by giving in, tell them that you will call emergency services if they feel suicidal, but you will not be held responsible for this. It’s the best thing to do.
And there’s so much more that such manipulators do, such as:
- Playing the victim
- Faking illness or needing you because they’re weak
- Being too kind and over-praising you
- Being too calm, cool and collected in stressful situations
- Accusing you of being too sensitive when they make a harsh “joke”
What Needs to Be Done
If your partner is physically violent, the best thing to do is to seek legal help and get out of that relationship.
If not, you need to be straight forward with your partner and set rules and boundaries. Since you’re aware of their behavior, you can use the opportunity to make your stand.
Nevertheless, if they do not heed, it might be time to part ways, plain and simple. While you might think you’re happy in this relationship, you’re not.
So for your own sake, do what you can to protect your mental and psychological health. You might just find your true partner around the corner.
The author, Marcus Houskin is and has always been a free thinker. He has been writing about the ‘not-so-popular’ ideas for a few years now. Through his writing, he wants to expose people to new ideas.