Self Improvement Planet
An illustration of a couple in a trauma bond

Does Your Relationship Feel Like a Rollercoaster Ride? Seven Signs You May Be in a Trauma Bond

Have you ever been in a relationship where the love and care that you gave wasn’t reciprocated? Have you found yourself in a pattern of being attracted to unavailable partners or attracting the same type of emotionally unavailable person repeatedly? In some cases, there can be an underlying trauma bond at work.

When you have difficulty walking away from an unhealthy, toxic relationship, it can often be because of a trauma bond. A trauma bond is created when one person has endured abuse or violence, and the other person feels helpless to do anything about it but decides to stay anyway. This type of connection creates feelings of guilt in the victim and resentment in the abuser. Here are some tips for women entrepreneurs to find out if they’re in a trauma bond.

1.    You’re always on edge

Many people have this experience in many different types of relationships. They are always on edge, anxious, and worried about the relationship because they feel that something terrible will happen if they let their guard down for a moment.

What is happening here is that you have fallen into a trauma bond with someone. Trauma bonds are created when a person feels helpless to control a situation or get out of it. They feel like they can’t escape it, and so their body and mind adapt to deal with it by creating feelings of anxiety and worry about the relationship and the other person.

2.    You’re constantly looking for reassurance from your partner

A picture showing violence against a professional woman

If you’re constantly looking for reassurance from your partner, you may be in a trauma bond. This can happen during relationships that have experienced abuse or betrayal. To move past trauma bonds, it’s important to recognize them and learn how they can trap you in an unhealthy relationship.

Many abusive relationships start as normal. Over time, one partner will begin to feel insecure and might seek reassurance from the other partner.

The other partner will then reassure them, which their partner will take as love and affection. In a healthy relationship, partners would give each other this reassurance because they care about each other, not because they want it.

3.    You feel alone in the relationship and isolated from friends and family

A trauma bond is a type of relationship where one person becomes dependent on the other through fear and intimidation. The dependent partner continues suffering abuse due to their low self-esteem. They tend to feel alone, isolated from family and friends, and don’t know how to get help.

You might be in a trauma bond if you feel isolated and alone in your relationship. You may think that no one understands what you are going through, so you can’t talk to them about it.

4.    You feel like you’re in the wrong place

A woman in a purple shirt crying while covering her face with her hand

You might be in a relationship with someone who verbally abuses you and then apologizes profusely, giving you gifts and treats in an attempt to get their way. The cycle repeats itself until the victimized partner feels as though they are in the wrong place.

You might have experienced trauma bonds with a parent or a romantic partner, and this has caused you to stay in unhealthy relationships for long periods. Your mind wants to leave, but your heart won’t let you go.

Trauma bonds are often driven by fear. Despite being hurt, you still trust that it will be different in the future. It’s hard to break this pattern because you’re afraid of being alone.

5.    There are escalating incidents of abuse, such as physical or verbal attacks

Trauma bonds are specifically defined as bonds between one person and another created by ongoing incidents of physical or emotional abuse. While the relationship may give you feelings of euphoria initially, you find yourself caught in a cycle of addiction to the abuser soon after.

We all know what it feels like to be abused. Even if it is not physical, the emotional pain can still feel the same. If a person truly loves you, they should never make you feel pain. If they do, they’re abusing you, whether they realize it or not.

One of the main reasons people stay in an abusive relationship is that they feel powerless or trapped. They think that the abuser is the only person that can help them with their problems because they have a history together or are important in their lives.

6.    You find yourself unable to leave the relationship even though you know it’s bad for you

Trauma bonding is a state of mind that occurs between an abused victim and the abuser. The victim experiences a traumatic event, and to survive, it creates a bond with the abuser. In this state of mind, the victim cannot leave the relationship, even though it’s bad for them.

This is because being abused creates a trauma bond between the victim and the perpetrator. This bond is like a drug addiction—the person has become addicted to the abuse and cannot live without it.

7.    Your partner accuses you of being unfaithful

A trauma bond is created when one person in a relationship accuses the other of being unfaithful. The accuser will use jealousy to control the other partner. Using the accusation as a weapon makes the accuser feel powerful, and they can manipulate the other partner into staying in the relationship.

The accuser will often have a jealous nature before the accusation even occurs, and that is due to insecurity or feeling controlled by their partner. The accuser may have had an abusive past and has learned to create similar situations to feel more empowered.

An illustration of a couple arguing.

To help you gain clarity and move forward, we recommend checking out Hustle Mama Magazine‘s women’s lifestyle magazines online on trauma bonds for women in relationships. For more tips for women entrepreneurs about this fascinating topic, visit Hustle Mama Magazine’s website and get their digital magazine subscriptions today!


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